The NEW Hummer Electric Vehicle!

For those aware of the climate crisis, the petrol powered Hummer is about as green as a coal fired power station. With an official fuel efficiency of just 16MPG it guzzles gas almost as fast as an oilwell could pump it out of Texan soil. 

You wouldn’t expect anything gentle therefore, about about the Hummer EV SUV or Truck would you? Don’t even think of it - this is a brute in every way. The sort of thing that would put a smile on little Jeff ‘Rocket Man’ Bezos face when he’s wearing his stetson and cowboy boots… 

0-60 In 3 Seconds? 

The first thing we need to say is this beast weighs in at 4.08 metric Tonnes. GMC claim that the Hummer EV will be able to hit 60mph in three seconds. Jeff Bezos and chums will get a similar thrill to riding his funny shaped rocket at that sort of acceleration. 

The issue that many observers have raised is that with the sheer weight of the thing (even without four large raw steak eating Americans and their luggage inside) could cause problems. Not many walls would withstand such a tank of a car overcooking it on a bend - even one of reinforced concrete. 

Fuel economy on this thing is a bit of an afterthought too. Its EPA rating is 1.6 miles per kilowatt-hour, somewhere less than half that of a Tesla Model S. To get round the problem of range, this thing has a 200kWh battery - the reason for all that weight it has to shift. 

Finding A Parking Space 

The Hummer EV is built to dominate the American wilderness. Whether it would fit down an old English green lane is something we hope no one will try. At just under five metres long, it is only a few cm longer than the current Land Rover Discovery. It’s a bit wider though - by 19cm! 

One optional extra is a camera system with 17 cameras around the vehicle so you can accurately see the terrain around you. It might even help you park the thing if you can find a 6m long parking space… 

This Will Hurt Your Wallet 

The list price of this beast is going to be around $112,000 (£82,000). If it ever came on sale in the UK you can expect another 20% on that but actually for the a super-luxury electric SUV, this isn’t too terrible even with a UK markup. 

Other Cool Stuff! 

Both the SUV and truck editions can turn their rear wheels 10 degrees, allowing it to ‘crabwalk’ out of ruts on the track. They can raise or lower their suspension by up to 15cm to tackle rough terrain. As we said, this is built around dominating the environment. 

For the highway, this beast has a SuperCruise handsfree cruise control system that can allow you to relax a bit on those long drives between the house on your ranch and the main road, or for normal people, on an intercity drive.   

Toys For Big Boys? 

Most of us won’t ever own a beast like the Hummer EV, which costs about a third of the average UK house. Though some may call this obscene in so many ways, your average blue steak eating Texan isn’t into things like ‘climate change’ and ‘keeping the planet for future generations’, so they need another incentive to go electric. As such, the Hummer in all its brutal, brash glory nails the EV thing - it is pure, balls out fun! In being what it is, it draws people away from boring old dinosaur juice-drinking bangers!